by Paul Jacko
Scene I: The palace bedroom, somewhere in Canberia
T:- Don’t go Juliii, don’t go.
J (waking up) :- I hear the tongue, shriller than all the music, let me see your face. Oh, it’s you.
T:- Beware the ides of May. Beware the ides of
May June, Juli.
J:- You are a dreamer. Besides, they are in March.
T:- In the senate and in the caucus room they are always. It’s never ending season of long knives there. I had a dream…
J:- You are full of… quotations this morning.
T:- I dreamt that a lioness hath whelped in the streets…
T:- …and graves have yawn’d, and yielded up their dead…
T:- …fierce fiery warriors fought upon the clouds, which drizzled blood upon the House…
J:- Those workers representatives, unsullied by acquittance with real work?
T:- … horses did neigh, and dying men did groan…
J:- Press gallery?
T:- …and a ghost did shriek and squeal about the streets.
J (dressing up):- Lourioacus? Oh, verily I say to you, you ought to stop watching those caucus meetings videos. They are not good for you. Remember Lanthamimus? Never been the same.
T:- Thanks Jove you got a wig finally, I was getting worried you want me for that one thing only.
J:- Silly. Pass me your comb, will you?
T (looking at the remnants of KFC chicken on the floor) :- There was no heart in it, no heart at all. That augers foul.
J:- Fowl? Oh, I see. Of course there was no heart. Have you forgotten your Latin? ‘Pollus’ – fowl, out of which politicos, politicians.
T:- I thought that politics is out of ‘pollutus’ -pollution.
J:- That also.
T:- Don’t go, Julii, don’t. Too many enemies there, Brevisius, Cycnus, Kevinus…
J:- I have friends too. Somewhere.
T:- Name them.
J:- Well, there is… perhaps not him. And… she… What’s for dinner?
T:- A foul, I mean a fowl. A lame duck.
J:- I said that as long as I am the head of this household, there won’t be any fowl here.
T:- With Tasmanian apple sauce?
J:- Yes, please.
T:- Don’t go, Juli. They will get you in the Senate, they will get you in the House, they will get you in the Caucus, they will get you on the way there. You’ll get it right in the rotunda
and they won’t do it with a straight banana.
J (dreamy look on her face):- Yes. Talking about bent bananas, by the way, where is Kevinus?
T:- Holidaying somewhere in the provinces I think, erstwhile Britannic provinces or erstwhile Gaelic provinces or erstwhile Hispanic provinces… He is an erstwhile man.
J:- I don’t trust him, he has that sated look on his round face.
T:- He has had it since he lived out of the back of a chariot with his mother.
J:- (approaching the door) Hmm, that may explain… oh, never mind.
T:- By the way, just before you go, Julii. Would you make a honest man out of me?
J:- A bit too late now, isn’t? Why? Have you set you sights on being the First Widower?
J (opens the door, leaves and immediately returns):- Thrice be cursed that infernal Flanerius! Where is my rain robe?
(Thunder in the distance)
The End of Act I