That song

…from the quill of Antisthenes the Younger

Created by the Scottish-born composer, Peter Dodds McCormick, the song was first performed in 1878, but did not became the Australian official anthem until 1984. Peter McCormick is long time dead, but Australian Government claims copyright for its more politically correct version, which you can find on internet, if you are interested.

 The original lyrics published in 1879 were as follows:

Verse 1
Australia’s sons let us rejoice,
For we are young and free;
We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea;
Our land abounds in Nature’s gifts
Of beauty rich and rare;
In hist’ry’s page, let ev’ry stage
Advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia fair.
Verse 2
When gallant Cook from Albion sailed,
To trace wide oceans o’er,
True British courage bore him on,
Til he landed on our shore.
Then here he raised Old England’s flag,
The standard of the brave;
“With all her faults we love her still”
“Britannia rules the wave.”
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair.
Verse 3
While other nations of the globe
Behold us from afar,
We’ll rise to high renown and shine
Like our glorious southern star;
From England soil and Fatherland,
Scotia and Erin fair,
Let all combine with heart and hand
To advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair.
Verse 4
Should foreign foe e’er sight our coast,
Or dare a foot to land,
We’ll rouse to arms like sires of yore,
To guard our native strand;
Britannia then shall surely know,
Though oceans roll between,
Her sons in fair Australia’s land
Still keep their courage green.
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair.*

Respectful as I am of flags, anthems and other paraphernalia utilised by ruling classes to make the plebs to die for the right to be taxed, I nevertheless took slight liberty to update the original song:

 Australians all let us recall,

For once we were young and free;
Once we had golden soil and wealth for toil;
For bureaucratic rules and taxes now we are a pitiful foil.
Our home is girt by sea;
Which, alas, only Asians can fish for free.
Our land abounds in nature’s gifts
Which we gift in turn just for asking
to receive tsunami of plastic toys
for our short-lived joys.
Land of beauty rich and rare;
So rare it’s under lock and key
by every Environmental Protection Agency
so that each and every United Nation can say that’s fair.
In history’s page, let every stage
be forgotten or shamed, so
the professional offendees of any age
can sue and perpetual victims be.
Advance Australia Fair.
In mournful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia Fair and any other shade
thus on the safe side always be.

 

Beneath our sorry Southern Cross
We toil with hearts and hands; no brains, of course
To make this former Commonwealth of ours
For those who’re coming across the seas
to share sharia, their bigotry and hatred of us with us;
Timidly let us all divide, SBS like
for we don’t want to be offending;
then let us sing
Advance Australia to Asia
so that our Masters be rejoicing.
Or here a simpler version – God save Australia. Quick.

About Antisthenes

A Greek philosopher, a pupil of Socrates. Led a revolt, with Diogenes, against the demands of the city-state and the sophistication of life. Accepted the interrelation of knowledge, virtue, and happiness; and sought the ideal condition for happiness in return to primitivism and self-sufficiency. Rejected all social distinctions as based on convention, scorned orthodox religion as a fabrication of lies, and studied early legends and animal life in order to arrive at a true understanding of natural law. The individual was free and self-sufficient when he was master of his passions, secure in his intelligence, impervious to social or religious demands, and satisfied with the poverty of a mendicant. Needless to say, a person who on the Fog of Chaos adopted the Athenian philosopher's name has nothing whatsoever in common with him.
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