Die Young

 …from the quill of Antisthenes the Younger

While doing some research for the suicide article No mystery I happened to notice something about dying young and writing songs with boobs. It is a certain Ke$ha (she types her name like that) who does that. I have enough problems typing with two fingers and she can do it with her boobs! Mind boggled and imagination went into overheated overdrive.

 I returned to that intriguing and important problem later, while the remaining stalwart and presumably morally blind and deaf ALP supporters marched. Queensland has public holiday on the 6th May, for some reason, called a Labour Day. I missed the march, but had a valid excuse. Back to that important matter.

 In case you think I’m making it up, here it is verbatim, from MetroLyrics:

 “In case y’all didn’t know, we kind of have an obsession with Ke$ha. Love her or hate her: the girl just lives her life, doesn’t care what anybody thinks, and we respect her for that. Which is why we expected wild & crazy tales from the glitter-loving pop star when she appeared on Conan for an interview with the late night host. The video clip above shows K-dollar-sign clad in a dress covered in Conan heads (which we totally want for ourselves), but we got distracted from her outfit when she was asked about how she approaches songwriting.

 Like most writers, Ke$ha said she gets ideas out of nowhere and writes them down or jots them into her phone, and also writes on guitar and piano. However, there’s one tactic she’s been using recently that has apparently helped her write all her favorite songs: she uses her “assets” over the piano keys. That’s right — she lowers herself, sans shirt, onto the ivories and lets her chest do the work. We have to hand it to you, Ke$ha…if using your boobs to write songs helps create jams like “Die Young” and “Crazy Kids“, then we’re all for it!

 How can one resist? Or better, how could I resist? The music video is bellow and the inspiring lyrics right here:

 I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums

Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone So while you’re here in my arms Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young We’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young
Hearts, out our minds Running ’till we outta time Wild child’s lookin’ good Living hard just like we should Don’t care who’s watching when we tearing it up (You Know) That magic that we got nobody can touch (For sure)
Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah) Take my hand, I’ll show you the wild, side Like it’s the last night of our lives (uh huh) We’ll keep dancing ’till we die
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone So while you’re here in my arms, Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young We’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young
Hunks, taking shots Stripping down to dirty socks Music up, gettin’ hot Kiss me, give me all you’ve got It’s pretty obvious that you’ve got a crush (you know) That magic in your pants, it’s making me blush (for sure)
Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah) Take my hand, I’ll show you the wild, side Like it’s the last night of our lives (uh huh) We’ll keep dancing ’till we die
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone So while you’re here in my arms, Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone So while you’re here in my arms Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young We’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most till the night like we’re gonna die young

Sorry about that, but could you do better? With your mammaries? It nevertheless seems to me that this could be a very encouraging song for Muslim youth, with some minor changes perhaps, say instead of “that magic in your pants”, mullahs would approve “that Semtex in your pants”. In any case whenever Kesha gets tired of her night job or wants to give her assets a well deserved rest she can work as a reporter for Iranian ayatollahs’ channel Press TV. Our very own Ms Edwina $torie can. From Vex News:

PressTV, the official news outlet of the theocratic government of the Islamic Republic of Iran, has employed an Australian correspondent, Edwina Storie, who is a former “adult entertainment” model and big-boozing party girl.”

 Transformation is painless; just a bit more cloth is needed:

 

 

 

 

 

 In the meantime:

About Antisthenes

A Greek philosopher, a pupil of Socrates. Led a revolt, with Diogenes, against the demands of the city-state and the sophistication of life. Accepted the interrelation of knowledge, virtue, and happiness; and sought the ideal condition for happiness in return to primitivism and self-sufficiency. Rejected all social distinctions as based on convention, scorned orthodox religion as a fabrication of lies, and studied early legends and animal life in order to arrive at a true understanding of natural law. The individual was free and self-sufficient when he was master of his passions, secure in his intelligence, impervious to social or religious demands, and satisfied with the poverty of a mendicant. Needless to say, a person who on the Fog of Chaos adopted the Athenian philosopher's name has nothing whatsoever in common with him.
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7 Responses to Die Young

  1. Sue Powell says:

    Labor Day is in October in Queensland now. They changed in from May.

  2. Antisthenes says:

    Thank you. I’m getting too old for this.

  3. just trolling says:

    So that how those modern songs are manufactured!

  4. Sheet muso says:

    I’ve been surfing online more than 3 hours as of late, yet I by no means discovered any fascinating article like yours. It is pretty value enough for me. In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made just right content material as you probably did, the internet will be much more helpful than ever before.

  5. Botulista says:

    Die young? Too late.

  6. Ted Glomar says:

    Not me, thanks.

  7. Ellen says:

    Amazing blog! With thanks

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