…from the quill of Antisthenes the Younger
One should not make fun out of people who are down, not even those down by the riverside. Therefore, I shall not be making fun out of a certain Tim Mathieson, unemployed hairdresser, suspected of living on immoral earnings of a woman he cohabitates with, Ms G. , no previous convictions. I consider all parliamentary salaries, perquisites and allowances to be immoral earnings; certainly more immoral than remuneration a prostitute receives. Contrary to professional politicians, she does provide an useful service and hardly ever does any incurable damage.
A recent news item attracted my attention. No, not the one about Tim prancing about V8 Supercars races at Austin, Texas, a Prime Minister’s Office pass dangling from his neck, but the one concerning his investment of diligently saved money in a real estate: “Four months ago, Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s partner, Tim Mathieson, quietly bought a bush block on the bank of the Goulburn River near Jamieson, in north-east Victoria. Mr Mathieson has since placed a caravan on the secluded and partly forested block, which backs on to the river as it enters Lake Eildon. .. It was listed in the bargain price range of $105,000-$125,000.”
Whoa, a waterside property! Something like Flannery, Rudd and other global warming and catastrophic sea level rise spruikers buy. But a quick look at the map showed that only the Australian Broadcasting Corporation eco-clown “Robyn 100 metres Williams” would be frightened, very frightened. Lake Eildon is almost 200 km inland.
But Goulburn River – that rang the other bell. Of course, the old stamping ground of medially famous bushrangers, proto-socialists, if you wish, such as ‘Mad Dog’ Morgan, Ned Kelly and Harry Power. Some claim that there is still their hidden loot to be found in them there river banks. Naturally, there is no reason, when even Cyprus banks are no longer safe, not to utilise the old and proven, planet saving, carbon sequestering method of hiding the hard won gains from preying eyes.
Then of course there is the fact that minimum security female HM Prison Tarrengower is located at Maldon, mere 150 km NW from Mr Mathieson’s caravan as the gonski flies. Does Tim knows something we don’t?
All this has nothing to do with anything. Maybe the ex-first-bloke-to-be really intends to lay down his sword and shield, as the song says. And I am not suggesting that he ever had anything to do with KGB, the sword and shield of the Soviet Communist Party. Perhaps he will just lay down his heavy load, won’t study factional wars no more and just lay down. Could it be a new experience for him?