…from the quill of Antisthenes the Younger
You may or may not have read here about so far the latest astonishingly pathetic Labor attempt to smear Tony Abbott – sexual assault of an Aboriginal woman. [Exquisite timing] It is worth reading, even if I say so myself.
One can only wonder what will that desperate party come up with next. Will they accuse him of paedophilia? It would be risky, for some of the ALP’s best and brightest are in jail for that; and then there are some others, who ought to be, but are not, thanks to the similarly inclined judiciary. According to the Left morality, paedophilia is bad only if practised by Catholic clergy, any other clergy but Islamic, and Scouts leaders. Artists, movie directors and other left leaning luminaries are excused. Since practically all Australian media obediently follow the Labor Party line, the risk that they would remind the public of paedophilic skeletons in Labor closets is small. Thus any non-socialist politician could be a fair game.
Child pornography deserves consideration since planting of same in a digital form on somebody’s computer hard drive is a child’s (oops, another pun) game. One hopes that Liberal and National parties politicians are aware of that and are taking precautions.
Matrimonial infidelity is practically de riguer in the trade union/Labor circles, but media rightly ignore that, partially of course for self-protection. Secular “progressives” live on a different level of morality. Much stricter standards would be applied to the so called conservatives, who, by and large on no evidence at all, are accused of following Christian prescriptions. It is thus likely that Labor muckrakers are busily trawling the Canberra bars for some scorned secretary. Any such person would be in a lucrative sellers’ market.
That standby of bygone ages, allegations of homosexuality, are less likely. The Greens and other pillars of the Labor government would not approve, though a “true confession” by a suddenly materialised victim released a few days prior to the election date could sway some less astute conservative voters.
What’s left? Defalcation / fraud / tax evasion? Driving with a dog on the roof? Abusing a stewardess and bringing her to tears? (No, not that one.) Punching another wall?