july memories / 01

NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN (ALMOST)

1st July, 1905 : Ideas about the universe accepted since Newton’s time over two centuries ago are now being questioned in the light of a new theory proposed by a German-born physicist. According to the “Theory of Relativity” of Albert Einstein there is no such thing as absolute time or absolute motion. Everything – even the order in which events happen – depends on the observer. The most striking implication of the theory is that matter and energy are inter-convertible, minute quantities of matter being equivalent to vast amounts of energy. Physicists speculate that radioactivity may arise through the conversion of mass to energy. In Einstein’s universe, one absolute is the speed of light. Nothing can travel faster and curious things happen as it is approached: masses increase, distances contract.

[According to the latest theories/research even the speed of light is not as constant as it used to be 108 years ago. But on the lighter, and more understandable, note:

Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be nearly 132 if he were alive today. Few people remember that he married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919. At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa “because she was so well endowed”. Apparently he postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if there is a DNA connection.
This came to be known as…

Einstein’s Theory of “Relative Titty.”

Oh, stop moaning! I didn’t write this stuff. Anyway, it beats the hell out of all the current political crap.]

About Avadoro Worden

Iconoclast
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One Response to july memories / 01

  1. Seamless in Seattle says:

    I got an urge to study physics – do you have a phone number for her?

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